“Take care of your Mother…”

Driving Away

Two men, who had succumbed to their own sinful desires, presented me with that final emotional statement prior to their departure from my life. The first time it occurred at age 7, the other time I was well into adulthood. Each time it deeply hurt. Who tells a 7 year old boy, to “take care of your Mother”? I didn’t understand what it meant. My Mother and Father were supposed to take care of me. During the second occurrence I empathized with the concept of, “take care of your Mother”. I had a family of my own, but the painful sting of the finality of the situation struck cords of anguish within me I thought were long since buried. My Fathers of this world had twice failed me in spectacular fashion and left me with a poor example of love, marriage and trust. This is the end result of porn use and sinful desires. This is where years of pornography consumption the leads. This is the ending.

Here is the beginning.

Pornography is an uncontrolled virus of our culture. The statistics are appalling.

  • U.S. pornography revenue: $13.3 billion. $4 billion more than mainline Hollywood films in 2007
  • Daily pornographic search engine requests: 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
  • U.S. adults who regularly visit Internet pornography Web sites: 40 million
  • Internet users who view pornography: 42.7%
    http://erlc.com/issues/quick-facts/por/#sthash.N2DdVq8T.dpuf

And it gets worse.

Is it any surprise that the two men that were placed in the position of responsibility to raise me failed miserably in maintaining a marriage founded on an intimate relationship with one woman?

A pornographic culture is compelling men, both young and old, away from the biblical doctrine of the Imago Dei. Simply stated, the Imago Dei is that humanity is created in the image or likeness of God. “27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) Conversely, this doctrine is NOT articulating we are “gods”, or can be “gods”, but that both males and females have been created IN the image of God. God the Father has imputed his commutable attributes of spirituality,knowledge, goodness, love, holiness and other attributes, to his created beings. (Genesis 5:1-2, 1 Corinthians 15:49)

  • When men are allowed to consume women as a collection of body parts to be displayed and fantasied about, they fail to consider that within that individual is a soul. A soul that is created in the image of God! (Matthew 5:27-28)

Within this pornographic fantasy perishes the sanctity of a marriage covenant. (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 7:2) Hardcore, graphic pornography is intensely encouraging man’s sinful desires to view women in a way that is not healthy. The statistics above outline the conclusion that the money follows the pornographic demand.

If you’re a man addicted to images where does pornography use end? If you’re lucky you repent your sin to God, confess to your spouse, pray deeply for forgiveness and together you move forward in healing reconciliation. (Ephesians 4:24, Colossians 3:10) Refraining from use of erotic images by continually working on sanctification with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 6:11)

Most men are not that fortunate to receive an ending as described above. (Mathew 7:13) The lines between fantasy and reality are distorted. Escalating from the anonymity of solitary porn use, to strip clubs, and who knows what else, causing a splintering of all your relationships to occur. Lies and secrets breed to cover the traces. No longer will “regular” porn suffice, but with an ever increasing appetite more explicit pornography must be consumed creating new neural pathways in your brain. This modifies the way the brain functions to perceive what is real and not-real disabling the ability to formulate relational bonds. This will drive a deeper wedge between you and your spouse removing any traces of intimate connection from the relationship.

Still not convinced? The scientific research confirms these findings with a research study published in the Journal of American Medical Association: Psychiatry. It concludes that “the more pornography a person watches, the less gray matter, connectivity and activity they have in their brain.” http://pornharms.com/wp-content/uploads/K%C3%BChnGallinatJAMA.pdf

“9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” (Colossians 3:9-10)

Many men are in this dark place of exploiting pornography and are unable or unwilling to find the light. (1 John 1:5) Whatever the situation, I plead with you to want better for yourself, your spouse and your children. No child daydreams of becoming a porn star. No one imagines that the only way they will be able to survive in this world is to become a detached tool of lust for someone on the other end of a computer screen. I implore you to look at your children, especially your daughters and want more for them! Teach them that there is more to this world then the desires laid before us by an over sexualized society. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

No sin is too dark, to hidden, too horrible to escape the atonement work of Jesus Christ.

24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. (1 Peter 2:24-25)

You haven’t astonished the Lord by the choices you have made. He knows your heart. (Romans 3:12-17) Forgiveness is available and freely provided to those who pursue the grace offered. A new life and beginning is open to you and your family. (John 3:3-8)

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions.” (Psalm 51:1)

I plead with you to receive open invitation from Jesus, thus breaking the cycle of telling your children to, “take care of your Mother”, before you leave the shattered remains of your secret life for someone else to clean up…

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